.:I Don’t Wanna Hear You Say It:.

Invites are out. Hopefully my parties will have good turnouts.  It’s too early to find out weather predictions for those days, but there’s another thing I’m worried about.  I mean, it won’t matter much on Sunday when we’re at the bar but I hope it’s nice out and doesn’t rain for my bonfire on Saturday.

Tomorrow when I go to work I find out my schedule.  I hope it got it off!

So, I’ve been listening to a bit of Avril Lavigne recently and I realized that her songs seem to mostly be about missing out.  Like “S8er Boi” for example.  Okay, not the deepest song I’ll admit.  Actually most of her lyrics are like that.. “He was a skater boy, she said ‘see you later’ boy” and so on.  But the song is about missing out on someone and looking back thinking “what if”.  And it seems like a lot of songs are like that. About letting go of the chance to tell someone how you feel and then constantly wondering what would have happened if you did.  And I don’t want that to be me.  But I’m a coward.  I always seem to be up then down with this whole thing. Sometimes I’m confident and I’m seeing all these things that I take as a good sign.  And then I tell myself I’m ready to do it. I’m ready to say it, I’m ready to let it out.  Then I’m consumed with second thoughts of “what if I’m misreading the signals” or “what if I get rejected” and “I’m stupid for even thinking I have a chance”.  And I don’t want to bring myself down with thoughts like this because I don’t want to live my life wondering what could have been if I wasn’t too afraid to say what should have been said.  For all I know, this could be it.  This could be my chance.  I mean, yeah, then again it might not end up the way I want it but I don’t know that for sure.  It could be something good.  And I’ll never know unless I try.  Wishing is not enough anymore. It’s time to step it up and take some action. 

I hate being a scared-y cat. 

Well. Today is Friday and so it’s time for the song of the week.  This week it’s a song I recently heard on a countdown and fell in love with. It’s called “Say It” by Blue October. 


Song of the Week

Blue October – Say It

http://assets.myflashfetish.com/swf/mp3/mff-stick.swf?myid=25505794&path=2009/07/17

It’s all about steam
It’s all about dreams
It’s all about making the best out of everything
You’ll know when your fine cause you talk like mime
You fall on your face get back up and you’re doing fine
I consider it the clown punching preaching machine
There’s one of the sweetest things she would say about me
That I don’t have the time you fucked up the steam
Why are you toying with my mind

[I don’t wanna hear you
Say say say say say say it x3
Are you fucking with my brain]

You think you’re smarter than me
Everyone knows you will never be smarter than me that’s just how it goes
I gained forty pounds because of you
Was there an “S” on my chest
Well I confess you were to much stress
I’d have a heart attack at best
Now I breath it out
I breath it out
And I spit it on the crowd
Cause you lift me up
You lift me
You lift me when I’m feeling down
What I’m I spitting out
Spitting out
Something we never talk about
It’s called my, my mind

[I don’t wanna hear you
Say say say say say say it x3
Are you fucking with my brain]

Well I’m sick of standing in your line so now you’ll have to take it
Take this to heart
I will never let you fuck me over
Stop talking down to me
No pain resolved No war is over
So here is my coldest shoulder

[I don’t wanna hear you
Say say say say say say it x3
Are you fucking with my brain]


Have a good weekend!

♥Jessi



 

7 thoughts on “.:I Don’t Wanna Hear You Say It:.

  1. LonerB says:

    Well,  look at it this way – everything happens for a reason. If you backed out of something then it’s because you didn’t feel that you are about to do the right thing. If you are about to take some major step ar make some serious choice, don’t force yourself. Because there are “What If”-s on both sides of the fence. And you are cautious, not a scared-y cat 😉

  2. @LonerB –  Thanks I know this is something I am going to do, something I really want, I’m just really nervous is all. By the way, I love your profile picture.

  3. LonerB says:

    @xTwilightAlchemistX – Thanks 🙂 And if it’s something you really want to do, then just close your eyes one of those days, take a deep breath, and do it before you can think too much about it. Because if you think too much, you’ll find a bucket of reasons why you shouldn’t do it.

  4. Ah Avril, I happen to like “I’m With You” the most…but anyway I know how it feels to be scared…like you won’t make the right choice…but life is short. I know it’s cliche to say that, but you truly don’t have forever. So, if you really want something go for it. It may not happen the way you want it to, but at least you can say you’ve had the experience. Good song by the way…:P

  5. @secretlygenius –  Thanks so much. I will definitely go for it.  “I’m With You” is my favorite too.

  6. Tebor says:

    I wish you the best of luck when you do. I know that’s a horrible burden to bear until it’s done. If it helps, and it helped me, knowing you have other people’s support helps a ton!Oy, I know I’m not the guy to talk about taking risks as the last time I did led to an epic failure of massive proportions… But think of it this way: Even though I got most painfully rejected, I bounced back and am willing to try again much sooner than I thought I’d ever be able to. Sometimes what we think are the worst case scenarios actually turn out to not be so bad.But your situation, I’m sure, is entirely different. I am certainly rooting for you. Along for work schedules and the weather.

  7. @Tebor – Thank you!   Someday soon I’m just going to take a deep breath and take the dive. 

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